Horrorshow Announce Call-Up

The Rochester Horrowshow announced today that they have recalled star prospect Juan Jacquez to the majors. Jacquez, a 26-year-old catching prospect, will assume the Designated Hitter position effectively immediately. Jacquez hit 10 home runs and 22 RBI with a 1.066 OPS in just 28 games this season in AAA.

"We wish we could have called Juan up at the beginning of the season, Horrorshow management said today, "but we needed to keep our eye on the economic realities of the arbitration system. We welcome Juan to Frontier Field, and look for good things."

The Horrorshow announced that Jacquez's promotion would cause the move of the legendary Lewis Standridge into a role as pinch-hitter and occasional 1B. Standridge stands just 25 hits shy of the 2,500 hit mark.

"We remain committed to seeing Lewis attain the 2,500 hit mark as a member of the Horrorshow. That momentous mark will stand as one of the highlights of this long season."

The Horrowshow also expressed their thanks to the Little Sisters of the Poor Grammar School for their continued prayers to St. Jude Thaddeus, Patron Saint of lost causes.

"It warms our hearts to hear of their continued devotion in these troubled times. We pray that the Horrorshow is respectable for their children's children."